Please be aware that this post discusses physical reactions to overstimulation that might be difficult for some readers.
My heart feels ready to explode, entire body cringing as if responding to nails on a chalkboard. My muscles turn to stone, allowing just enough breath to sustain life, while every nerve surges to a voltage screaming escape.
This is generally how I experience overstimulation.
Overwhelm is harder for me to navigate than any other feeling or emotion. It requires more awareness, openness, self-compassion. It’s why interruptions to my focus, crowded places and certain noises, clutter, multitasking, and having too many what-ifs “up in the air” can incite dread. It’s why, for so long, I went from calm to irritated at my kids’ first cry, whine or angry outburst. I’d be left dumbfounded and ashamed, berating myself as a horrible person. It’s why even a comforting hand or well-intentioned hug can at times make me want to jump out of my skin. One night, it’s why I had a panic attack and nearly passed out.
Continue reading “I reclaim my moxie: Exploring overwhelm, Part II”